The Fine Line Between Hope and Narcissim

A conversation I was having last night has led me to ponder some things about myself, the people around me, and life in general. I consider myself an optimistic person. I believe humanity has a lot of potential and great things can come about if we try as individuals and as a collective. I believe most people know between right and wrong and most try to choose the path that causes the least amount of suffering. Sometimes we can lose ourselves in the busy and flashy world we live in today, but usually something is there to ground us. I often know, that in the profession that I currently spend most of time, and depending what segment of the population I am working with, it can seem the opposite. At my primary job (as of now) I serve alcohol to a group of people which have a difficult time finding acceptance in mainstream society. Some have families and/or friends that have rejected them for who they are. Others, while more comfortable with loved ones wrestle with self imposed images from their subculture. Still others get bogged down from the everyday pressures of life and its sometimes elusive purpose. Others just do not see the possibilities in life and are bored.
As someone who believes everyone has potential and something to offer others, this can often seem like a waste to me. Constantly drinking to take your self away from what you would rather not contemplate. Yes, I love my glass of wine (or two) with dinner, and I do like to drink. But I see drinking more as a reward for work well done. For when you've squeezed every bit of yourself out that you can for that day, week or month. This idea combined with my "drinking only when it is dark" rule are in part restraints for myself. This keeps me on target, allows me to see drinking alcohol as something other than the everyday, and most of all helps curb what is an addictive personality. I believe I know what I am talking about since I have been that person before, that drinks all the time everyday. Then you go to work (well most do) and to cope with how bad your body feels, and/or how bad you feel when the pressure from life that you have not attended to starts to mount up, you do it again. Before you know it, life has flashed before your eyes. In a sober moment you realize that maybe you are not where you want to be in your relationships with loved ones or family, or your job is a dead end job, or you wish you would have done things differently in your life.
That moment I believe is the crucial moment in many of our lives. The moment we either decide to live or just keep existing. It is the moment we can decide to face our problems in life and work with what we have. Many people take that route and continue to grow as people. But many others decide that the alternative, the safe, comfortable life is more appealing, and continue with their current path. I am no stranger to addiction and I know the damage it does to your health, mental, physical and spiritually. I also know that in this state of mind a person (as I once was) is the least receptive and/or willing to listen to anything else other than what they perceive will alleviate the situation and/or pain immediately. You begin to contemplate your problems and if you've ignored them and/or the pain of life for a while it seems like they will crush you. The sweet allure of becoming intoxicated and forgetful are powerful aphrodisiacs during these moments (whether it be alcohol or other substances). I know the allure and it is powerful, but I think it is strongest for those who view themselves in the least amount of light and pride (no, I do not always think pride is bad). Those who constantly demean themselves or others are known by their calling card of caddy remarks, insensitive jokes, or plain outright rude behavior.
Most humans are very perceptive and usually know what must be done, we just do not like hearing it from others (myself included). From experience, changing ourselves can be one of the most difficult and painful things we experience, but just like that kick-your-ass-work-project or that mile you just ran, you feel proud and more confident after it is done. You learn something about yourself, life and people in general, and it makes you a better person. I know many consider my views narcissistic, and at times I can be. In knowing what I have experienced, and hoping the best for those I care about to learn their full potentials as beautiful human beings I'd rather you see me as being optimistic and encouraging rather than narcissistic, but in the end I'd rather be happy with myself than whether or not you are happy with me.

Some Helpful News or "How to Move the Shit Out"

If any of you know me personally or have read this blog for any amount of time, then you are aware that I take great interest what types and kinds of food I ingest. I love food and I truly believe you are what you eat (No pigs for me!). I also view food as having a direct link with your physical, mental, and spiritual well being (there are such things considered as brain foods and anyone knowledgeable with Eastern philosophy understands the third). So as my first food/health related posting of the new year, I thought I might pass some information I found regarding some questions some of you have asked me recently. I am more than willing to pass on information I have retained, but I am far from all knowing (see, I said it), that is why I love the web. This information is from a fellow foodie's site called beauty eats.


Top 10 Detox Foods
Posted Wed, Jan 10, 2007, 10:31 am PST

As 2007 swings into gear, there's no better time to give your body a healthy, fresh start than now! Plus if you're thinking about lowering your weight - and your RealAge "eating clean" is a great first step. Add these 10 foods to your grocery cart and you'll get three terrific benefits:

1. Lots of super-healthy liquids to flush out the body while pouring in nutrients.

2. Fiber to keep your GI tract fit.

3. Foods that energize cleansing enzymes in the liver, your body's built-in detox center.
The top 10:

1. Green leafy vegetables. Eat them raw, throw them into a broth, add them to juices. Their chlorophyll helps swab out environmental toxins (heavy metals, pesticides) and is an all-round liver protector.
2. Lemons. You need to keep the fluids flowing to wash out the body and fresh lemonade is ideal. Its vitamin C - considered the detox vitamin - helps convert toxins into a water - soluble form that?s easily flushed away.
3. Watercress. Put a handful into salads, soups, and sandwiches. The peppery little green leaves have a diuretic effect that helps move things through your system. And cress is rich in minerals too.
4. Garlic. Add it to everything - salads, sauces, spreads. In addition to the bulb's cardio benefits, it activates liver enzymes that help filter out junk.
5. Green tea. This antioxidant-rich brew is one of the healthiest ways to get more fluids into your system. Bonus: It contains catechins, which speed up liver activity.
6. Broccoli sprouts. Get 'em at your health-food store. They pack 20 to 50 times more cancer-fighting, enzyme-stimulating activity into each bite than the grown-up vegetable.
7. Sesame seeds. They're credited with protecting liver cells from the damaging effects of alcohol and other chemicals. For a concentrated form, try tahini, the yummy sesame seed paste that?s a staple of Asian cooking.
8. Cabbage. There are two main types of detoxifying enzymes in the liver; this potent veggie helps activate both of them. Coleslaw, anyone?
9. Psyllium. A plant that?s rich in soluble fiber, like oat bran, but more versatile. It mops up toxins (cholesterol too) and helps clear them out. Stir powdered psyllium into juice to help cleanse your colon, or have psyllium-fortified Bran Buds for breakfast.
10. Fruits, fruits, fruits. They're full of almost all the good things above - vitamin C, fiber, nutritious fluids, and all kinds of antioxidants. Besides, nothing tastes better than a ripe mango, fresh berries, or a perfect pear.

Ultimate Detox Recipe

Easy Wilted Garlic-Sesame Salad
Toss dark, leafy greens in hot, garlicky oil for a cleansing?and delicious - dish
4 servings, about 65 calories each
1 Tsp. olive oil
1 clove garlic, minced
1 lb. spinach, stemmed,
or 1 lb. Swiss chard, stems sliced, leaves torn
or 1 lb. mixture of spinach and watercress
Salt and freshly ground pepper to taste
1 Tsp. sesame seeds for garnish
Warm oil in large skillet over medium-high heat. Add garlic and stir until lightly browned, about 45 seconds. Add greens (do in two batches, if necessary) and toss until just wilted, 2 to 4 minutes. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Sprinkle with sesame seeds.


Some of these are familiar to me and other information is new. Believe me, eat right and get some more exercise and you really will feel a difference. Plus all those other benefits you get. Also, with the way some of us drink (myself included), our liver could use a good cleansing. Besides, any gay man should know how important a healthy digestive tract is (sorry! had to say it)!

Guess Who's Coming To America?!!

Beckham heads for L.A. in $1 million a week deal

By Simon Baskett

MADRID (Reuters) - David Beckham will leave Real Madrid at the end of the Spanish season and sign a five-year deal for U.S. side Los Angeles Galaxy worth $1 million a week, the biggest in world sport.

"After discussing several options with my family and my advisors to either stay here in Madrid or join other major British and European teams I have decided to join LA Galaxy and play in the Major League Soccer (MLS) from August this year," Beckham told Reuters.

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The 31-year-old former England captain, married to former Spice Girl pop star Victoria "Posh Spice" Adams, will earn a total $250 million over the five years financed heavily by endorsements and including bonuses based on performance and the future success of the MLS.

"I would like to thank supporters and the people of Madrid who have made my family and I so welcome in my time here making this an extremely difficult decision to make," Beckham added.

"I have enjoyed my time here enormously and I am extremely grateful to the club for giving me an opportunity to play for such a great team and their amazing fans."



Really I don't care that he is coming to play for America, but it will be nice for something other than football and basketball to get some attention. Besides, it was a good excuse to post some pictures of sexy Beckham.

Derbytaunt Brawl!!

Who-hoo! This past Sunday was the exhibition bout of the OKC Rollergirls and it was awesome. Four teams, +1200 fans, good music (DJ Dezire and The Oh Johnny! Girls), beer, and very little clothing made memorable affair. One of the four teams was the Valkyrie Vixens of which my friend Kim, her friends Jim and Miles, and I were the cheer squad. A little intimidating in front of a lot of people I did not know. I know, I know, you guys are like, "Well Timmy, you are always walking around in your underwear!" Yeah, but those are gay people and most of these were definitely not gay people. Nonetheless, lots of fun. Only bad part was some cunty rollergirls (and no Dann, they were not lesbians) on the oppsoing team. I think they were jealous they didn't have cheerleaders as cool as us with cheer routines (which I totally blundered). The Vixens may not have won, but we still had a blast watching them do their best. The next, official bout is not till March 4th. See you there.

Pets or Meat?

I love my Mental Floss Magazine. This is from their website.

The Cellar posted these crazy photos last week, and I couldn’t help but put ‘em up. Apparently, the perspective is partially to blame for the freaky size of these wittle wabbits (the camera does add 10lbs after all). But the angle isn’t entirely to blame. The super-sized lagomorphs weigh in at a sturdy 22lbs, and are the work of the pictured German breeder Karl Szmolinsky. Strangely enough, the biggest fans of Karl’s work seem to lie in Asia, as he’s sold 12 of his bunnies to the North Korean government. They, of course, are hoping that the creatures will breed like, well, rabbits. Just to be sure, however, Kim il Jong and company have invited Karl over to North Korea to set up a farming program to help feed the nation’s (starving) masses. Story via TheCellar.

What A Way To Ring In the New Year!

Typo takes tourist 13,000 km out

BERLIN, Germany (Reuters) -- A 21-year-old German tourist who wanted to visit his girlfriend in the Australian metropolis Sydney landed 13,000 kilometers (8,077 miles) away near Sidney, Montana, after mistyping his destination on a flight booking Web site.

Dressed for the Australian summer in T-shirt and shorts, Tobi Gutt left Germany on Saturday for a four-week holiday.

Instead of arriving "down under", Gutt found himself on a different continent and bound for the chilly state of Montana.

"I did wonder but I didn't want to say anything," Gutt told the Bild newspaper. "I thought to myself, you can fly to Australia via the United States."

Gutt's airline ticket routed him via the U.S. city of Portland, Oregon, to Billings, Montana. Only as he was about to board a commuter flight to Sidney -- an oil town of about 5,000 people -- did he realize his mistake.

The hapless tourist, who had only a thin jacket to keep out the winter cold, spent three days in Billings airport before he was able to buy a new ticket to Australia with 600 euros in cash that his parents and friends sent over from Germany.

"I didn't notice the mistake as my son is usually good with computers," his mother, Sabine, told Reuters.

Copyright 2006 Reuters.