Tuesday, July 28, 2009

I've Been There Before...

As in reference to the type of guy Ms. Allen is referring to in this song, maybe that is why I love it so much. I'll add the lyrics for those of you who have problems with accents...Enjoy!!

Lily Allen - Not Fair

Oh he treats me with respect
He says he loves me all the time
He calls me 15 times a day
He likes to make sure that I'm fine
You know I've never met a man
who's made me feel quite so secure
He's not like all them other boys
They're all so dumb and immature

There's just one thing
that's getting in the way
When we go up to bed
you're just no good
Its such a shame
I look into your eyes
I want to get to know you
And then you make this noise
and its apparent it's all over

It's not fair
And I think you're really mean
I think you're really mean
I think you're really mean
Oh you're supposed to care
But you never make me scream
You never make me scream

Oh it's not fair
And it's really not ok
It's really not ok
It's really not ok
Oh you're supposed to care
But all you do is take
Yeah all you do is take

Oh I lie here
in the wet patch
In the middle of the bed
I'm feeling pretty
damn hard done by
I spent ages giving head
Then I remember
all the nice things
that you ever said to me
Maybe I'm just overreacting
maybe you're the one for me

There's just one thing
that's getting in the way
When we go up to bed
you're just no good
It's such a shame
I look into your eyes
I want to get to know you
And then you make this noise
and it's apparent it's all over

It's not fair
And I think you're really mean
I think you're really mean
I think you're really mean
Oh you're supposed to care
But you never make me scream
You never make me scream

Oh it's not fair
And it's really not ok
It's really not ok
It's really not ok
Oh you're supposed to care
But all you do is take
Yeah all you do is take

There's just one thing
that's getting in the way
When we go up to bed
you're just no good
It's such a shame
I look into your eyes
I want to get to know you
And then you make this noise
and its apparent it's all over

It's not fair
And I think you're really mean
I think you're really mean
I think you're really mean
Oh you're supposed to care
But you never make me scream
You never make me scream

Oh it's not fair
And it's really not ok
It's really not ok
It's really not ok
Oh you're supposed to care
But all you do is take
Yeah all you do is take

Monday, July 27, 2009


Sorry peeps that I've been so neglectful of my blog for so long now. Working two jobs and trying to maintain a healthy lifestyle and maintain a relationship does not leave much time for a lot of other things. Truthfully, I have been slacking in some areas as of the last month or two just because I've been working crazy overtime and been a little more lenient in my habits. I have been a little too comfortable in parts of my life with the grind I was working and my health is starting to suffer.

Well, at this moment I am on vacation, part of the reason I worked so much overtime as of the last month, and got to clear my head and reconstruct some new goals for the second half of the year. I know people usually only make goals at the beginning of the year, but what good is that?. Goals should reflect your current situation, not what occurred six months ago. Don't get me wrong, long term goals are a very helpful and can be a beneficial aim, but that does not mean you can't tweak them once and a while.

I've been called hard headed, boxed in, and even asinine in that I try to keep my life within certain boundaries, but like the idea that is put forth in the article I will post, you and only you know what sort of things motivate you and what will hinder you in your goals that you set for yourself. Yes, I do enjoy my friends and relaxing with them, but at the same time, doing those things does not always allow me to accomplish the goals that I have for myself. Honestly, in part that is due to the fact most of the people I do associate with don't have the same goals or motivations as I do which is perfectly fine. I would rather have them in my life than not, so our time may be more limited, but it does still happen. But in that same sense they should realize that I do things because I enjoy them, they keep me sane, and I know what works best for me. They are not to blame if I fall off my own wagon, but they need to understand that just because I am not always there does not mean I don't love them. I am just a busy motherfucker.

This piece is from an article in Men's Health (did you have to ask) concerning Tyrese Gibson's similar predicament. I found it very insightful and grounding. Hopefully you can pull some helpful information from that as well. Oh and don't worry, I will try to make some postings about my trip to Asia when I get the time, because when I get back to the States, I will be putting a new workout, eating, and time schedule into place to rev up the next six months so don't be mad if I can't make it to the bar to grab a beer, or swing by Neko for some sushi (although I will be highly tempted), or catch that movie I really want to see with my homies. But if you feel the inkling for a new direction or you get an itch to do something new for once, you know where I'll be..

Master Your Domain
Tyrese Gibson, star of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, gained weight and lost motivation. To right himself, he first had to change everything around him

"How lucky is it that mirrors steam up after a hot shower?" Tyrese Gibson asks. "I didn't have to look at what I'd done to myself." And every morning for a year, he didn't look. He'd towel off and hustle out of the bathroom before the steam could dissipate -- and before he'd be forced to see his once-chiseled body, the product of so much work, softened and bulging with some 50 pounds of new weight.

It happened because he'd eaten too much, sure, but the process didn't start that way. It started because he'd declared victory. Four years ago, Gibson had worked his way up the R&B charts, starred in the films Four Brothers and Annapolis, and knew people wanted him. He'd eat a cheese burger, and then a week's worth, and people still wanted him. He took jobs for granted and started feeling entitled, and they still wanted him. So he stopped working hard. He figured it'd all just keep coming.

He lost a sense of consequence, he says. It's easy to do: Accomplish something and your attitude can go from I'm working hard for this to This is mine. Do that and you've already failed. A boss doesn't promote you because you did work hard. A woman doesn't love you because you were devoted to her. They want you in the present and future tense: They expect you from here on in to work hard, to be devoted. Start coasting and you'll roll backward.

Gibson didn't understand that. How can you see a problem if you block out criticism? When you won't look at yourself because you're afraid of what you'll see? The truth is he knew what he'd see. If something's wrong with your life, you know it. Gibson ignored his problem by partying and hanging with slackers. They liked him lazy. They weren't about to tell him to stop, to think, to look.

But one guy did. A friend connected Gibson with Will Smith -- a man Gibson saw as happier and more successful. In Gibson, Smith saw a man who had lost his way. So he told Gibson that to truly succeed, he'd have to change everything around him. It was all part of the problem. Everything.

"It's the mirror effect," Gibson says. "You shine a mirror on everybody else and critique their lives, but what about you? What are you doing?"

No more steam. Stand naked in front of a clear mirror and take a good look. Gibson did, and he saw a confused, 248-pound man. He had some hard choices to make. And now, 2 years later, he smiles at his 203- pound reflection.

"We men have to put our pride and egos aside and just say, 'You know what? I need help,' " Gibson says. "Bring something to the table. To somebody who has the keys to whatever door you're trying to go through, say, 'Look, man, I have five keys of my own, but I'm trying to figure out how to get these other keys.' "

Think of it this way: Every man is surrounded by better men. A man who's more financially secure than you are can teach you something, and chances are he can also learn something from you. So approach him. Collaborate. Successful men aren't symbols of your inferiority; they're examples worth engaging.

Now that Gibson is hitting the gym on a regular basis, he's always asking for help. He's made a lot of friends that way. "It's very simple," he says.

"You walk up to a guy and say, 'Yo, my man, how'd you get your arms so lean and ripped like that? Let me jump in with you on a set.' " And like that, you're learning.

Smith told Gibson this: The five people you spend most of your time with will dictate how far your life and career will go. Slobs will make you a slob. Gibson loved fried calamari, and he had friends who bought it for him all the time. But if your friends work hard and eat right, you'll be embarrassed to eat fried anything around them.

It isn't easy to switch friends. Gibson knows that. It took him months: less time with this person, more with that one. Fried calamari gave way to scoops of tuna on lettuce, now his regular lunch. Guys at the gym taught him new exercises. He runs 5 miles a day on a treadmill. He lifts regularly.

All that effort creates a feedback loop -- much like he had before, except now all the messages are positive. Good routines are self-reinforced. He's focused now. His friends fuel him. You can see it.

"When you look a certain way, that says how you feel about yourself," says Gibson. "When you're in shape, you don't have to walk up to somebody and say, 'Yo, I love myself.' You look like you care for yourself."

With his new circle of friends in place, there's only one guy from the old days that Gibson thinks about a lot. That man's name is Tyren. Gibson talks enough trash about Tyren to fill an issue of Us Weekly: He's lazy, he's fat, he'll ride your coattails. "Tyren is mad that he doesn't have me no more," Gibson says defiantly.

Here's the thing: Tyren is Gibson. Or rather, was. Gibson made such a break from his past, he named his old self. He's dead serious about it. This is a new beginning. Change your life, and the old you will feel so foreign it may as well be someone else.

Gibson calls Smith every so often, for a recharge of inspiration. It's the positive influence he needs. Find someone who embodies your goal, and that person will raise your standards and expectations. When Gibson tries to explain his new attitude, he slips right into quoting Smith: "No one can touch me with my work eth..."

Actually, Gibson decides, it's better coming from the man himself. So he sits down at his computer and brings up a YouTube clip of Smith on Tavis Smiley's show.

"I will not be outworked. Period," Smith is saying. "You might have more talent than me, you might be smarter than me, you might be sexier than me, you might be all of those things. You got it on me in nine categories. But if we get on the treadmill together, there's two things: You're getting off first, or I'm gonna die. It's really that simple."

"Man!" Gibson shouts. "This gets me fired up right here. I'm going to the gym."

And then he does.

1. You look like you feel
"If you're heavyset and content, you'll be looked at as big sexy. I thought that was for me, but it wasn't. If you're not happy about how you look, you have to question how much self-love you have. So I'd say to you in advance: I believe in you, but I don't believe you until I see the results."

2. You have control
"You are the master of your environment. You've got your own head, your own mind. So once you figure out what you want for yourself, you have to create the proper environment to make sure you can live out all the things you want."

3. Work at your own pace
"When you step on the treadmill, make a commitment. Do, say, 3 miles a day. And don't get off until you finish. It doesn't matter what speed you're going. Just don't get off. You don't have to keep up with all the people around, running all fast and doing their thing. Just do your thing. You'll work up to them, as long as you do your own thing first."


Saturday, April 11, 2009

I Have Nothing To Add To This Masterpiece of An Article

By Camper English

Bar-havioral Problems
Gay bar bartenders, who are not necessarily gay bartenders,
are usually the most efficient and fair intoxicologists in
the drinking universe. I say “fair” because at straight
establishments, hot women and rich-looking men (usually
jerks) get first priority, and the bartenders frequently take
drink orders out of order. Infuriating! This is not often the
case in gay watering holes, where the bartenders tend to be the
hottest people in the room and don’t need to impress you by
serving you first (you need impress them with the size of your

Also, gay bar patrons know how to behave (toward the
bartender anyway) and will often line up in an orderly fashion
at the drink well rather than shouting and waving like the
opening scene of The Love Boat all along the bar. I take
straight friends to my favorite gay bar and they are amazed at
the German-like efficiency in place. They are often jealous and
determine to start coming there every night, until they hear
the 14th Madonna remix in a row. I can’t say I blame them.
In a nightclub or other crowded venue, or anywhere with a
mixed crowd, all bets for orderly ordering are off. You need
to gain the attention of the bartender as well as make him or
her think you’re going to be a good (i.e., fast, non-annoying)
customer. Here are a few suggestions for attracting the
bartender and keeping his attention.

Look available. You want to make eye contact with the
bartender and have her give you the “I see you” nod. To
accomplish this, face the bar, not your friends behind you. If
you’re turned around chatting and using the bar as a leaning
post, you’re not giving the right signal.bitters.

Be ready. When you are trying to get the bartender’s attention,
have visible cash in your hand – but don’t wave it around
unless there is a row of drag queens in six-inch heels blocking
your line of sight. And if you’re planning to pay with a credit
card, you may want to keep that hidden. It takes longer to
process, so the bartender will serve the cash-holding folks first.
Also, be ready with your friends’ drink orders. Don’t wait until
the bartender gets there to turn around and say, “What do you
guys want?” As the person standing next to you, I’ll swoop in
and say “Three martinis please” when your back is turned. I’m
like that.

Strategize. Don’t shout to get the bartender’s attention.
Nobody likes to be yelled at while doing their job. A friendly
“Hi!” sometimes helps though. Make your first tip the most
generous one to help ensure prompt service and healthy pours
for the rest of the evening. And be respectful of others – if the
guy next to you was waiting longer but the bartender comes
to you, give him the “he was here first” point. The bartender
will remember that you’re next, and you never know if that
guy next to you will return the favor and pay for your drink.

Camper English is a cocktails and spirits writer and publisher of

Thursday, April 09, 2009

Another Reason You Might Feel Sluggish Monday Morning

To think there was not anymore harm you could do to yourself with some weekend partying, here is yet another reason why you might want to slow down on your weekend shenanigans. Lord, like we didn't have enough to consider!!


If we told you about a secret way to dramatically increase your body's ability to burn fat calories, would you do it?

Don't agree to anything until we explain. Because we're asking you to make a sacrifice: Stop drinking beer and alcohol for 4 weeks.

The Belly Off! Diet recommends cutting out beer, wine, and liquor for a month for a good reason: doing so can turbocharge your weight loss, especially in that land mass sliding over your belt.

Yes, alcohol is high in calories, about 7 per gram. And that's before you add sugary mixers to your rum or vodka. But drinking has a greater effect than simply increasing the number of calories consumed. Alcohol reduces the amount of fat your body burns for energy.

Consider this study published in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition where eight men each were given two vodka drinks made with sugar-free lemonade, which they drank within about an hour. Their fat metabolism was measured before and after they drank the vodka. It turned out that the amount of fat the guys burned dropped 73 percent for several hours after they finished their drinks.

Why? Because when the alcohol in your blood is broken down by your liver, it is converted into a waste product called acetate. When acetate levels rise, your body burns acetate for fuel instead of the fat you are trying to lose.

The upside to all this is that you don't have to give up your favorite alcoholic beverages forever if you don't want to. Just for a month. That's enough time to reap big benefits.

Cutting out alcohol will make every other weight-loss strategy in this new book from the editors of Men's Health work even faster. Plus, maintaining your new fitness will be that much easier once you experience the power of maximizing your body's natural calorie furnace.

Thursday, April 02, 2009

Anger As A Weapon

Since I was young and having studied and been involved in social movements, I believe anger can be destructive or constructive. I've realized anger can be an excellent driving force in motivating people to get anything done, or it can destroy precious relationships with friends and family. This blog is from an online "green" newsletter I receive called "Care 2: Make A Difference" and I could not agree with the author's words more.

Anger is an Energy
posted by Eric Steinman Apr 1, 2009 5:00 pm

Anger dwells only in the bosom of fools. ~Albert Einstein

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. ~Buddha

“Anger is an Energy.” ~ Johnny Lydon of PiL

You don’t need your family, Dr. Phil, or even an expensive three-day anger management retreat out in the woods to inform you that violent outbursts of anger are generally frowned upon in society and are far from constructive. While we, as Americans, are probably angrier than we have ever been, being actively angry is still seen as an apparent lack of control, lack of good judgment, and a general lack of cool. Anger as an emotion is more or less considered useless, in its most benign form, and potentially harmful and destructive when allowed to run riot over our emotional landscape.

Grrrr! So, what the #@*≈ are we supposed to do with all of this anger? Just reason it away? Sublimate it with lots of TV, chocolate, reflexology or pop psych?

Well, as unpopular as anger may be as an outward emotion, we need not abandon it completely as a catalyst toward constructive change. As the less than exemplary Johnny Lydon defiantly chanted in the PiL song “Rise”, “Anger is an energy” and we owe it to ourselves to harness its power.

In the “Nicomachean Ethics,” Aristotle wrote, “The man who is angry at the right things and with the right people, and further, as he ought, when he ought, and as long as he ought, is praised.” Extending this logic into the present day, we would be well suited to cultivate our anger into rational tangible change, at both the micro and macro levels. Instead of lambasting our friends and loved ones with fire-tongued invectives, we could approach the anger as propulsion toward change, positive change. This will give us the incentive, not to criticize and belittle, but to put into motion significant advancement in the inter-personal realm. This is anger at work on the micro level, and on the macro level would be something like the Equal Rights movement, the Civil Rights movement, and the Environmental movement, all of which had their roots in outrage as much as concern. Possibly, if we channel our anger appropriately and constructively, we might even be able to fix our ailing economy?

And lastly, as parents, we are no doubt privy to all sorts of feral displays of anger emanating from our children. This is undoubtedly energy that could probably power a small fleet of tanker trailers if harnessed appropriately. We owe it to our children, not to tamp down or stifle their anger, but to allow it to find a suitable expression and a worthy exploit.

How do you contend with your anger? Has anger ever served you, or is it something best rigidly controlled and mitigated?

Friday, March 27, 2009

Can You Feel Emotion In This Song?

Fists Up - The Blow

Fists Up! :
i have tried
my hopes have blossomed
and my hopes have fried,
i tried to cut them all down
but i found hopes were still living deep inside,
like a team of renegade lovers
working long hours sneaking around
with a belief in the life of our love,
like a light at the end at the end
of a long tunnel; a struggle

fist up!
for all their faith in one preceding a face,
they really do believe that if
they hang on long enough
that you'll come around
and finally let it show
and all their hopes will be rewarded
for their impetus to grow,
well utopian piece would fall across the land
you'll reach over for my hand,
you'll really want to hold my hand

And i don't want to come to the point of this song,
because the point of this song
would happen to be so long.

It gets hard:
the vigilantes can't agree on who's in charge,
they gave their souls for the cause
but the love that they were after is still at large
see this faith in which they found allegiance
ripping at the seams as hope is running it's course
the rebels just cant muster the force
to walk the thin line between belief and delusion

fists up! for all their faith
in one preceding a face
they really did believe
that if they've hung on long enough
that you'd come around
and finally let it show
and all their hopes would be rewarded
for their impetus to grow
utopian peace would fall across the land
you'd reach over for my hand,
you would've really wanted to hold my hand

and i don't want to come to the point of this song because the point of this song would happen to be so long[long long long long long long long]

It was perfect you know
with just one little problem
the fact that it turns out
you don't really want it
my love is a fortress,
my love is a Louvre
but it cant ever thrive
if i'm forced to keep proving it.


Monday, March 02, 2009

I've Experienced This Plenty of Times

Hey kids, sorry I've been so busy as of late. I've been pulling 60 - 65 weeks between my two jobs. I've had lots to blog about but just not a lot of time. One little snippet of news that recently caught my attention was sent in one my daily Men's Health newsletters. I found this study to be quite interesting as that I have witnessed this many times in my life. Having been a waiter at a couple higher end restaurants and caterings you notice how people treat you and others quite quickly. This is also a problem I have when I date people as well.

Part of the reason I ask someone to a restaurant on a first date is exactly to watch how they interact with others, especially the wait staff. I believe that can say a lot about a person and their upbringing, as well as how they are to having their ideas challenged or just being open to new ideas. People that are interested in opinions, beliefs and cultures other than their own are generally more caring and sensitive to others and appreciative of what they have and what other people have to offer. People that easily disregard someone else's ideas, opinions or culture as beneath them or "wrong" often care little for others and have a sense of "entitlement." It is often the latter that get me worked up, and not in the good way. Anyway read this short news bit and I promise I will try harder to make more senseless postings....

Wealthy people tend to appear more distracted than their less well-off counterparts

No one drives a Hummer to be inconspicuous. Yet intentions aside, the cars we drive, clothes we wear, and places we live all offer clues to our socioeconomic status.

But what about more subtle signs? A new study says it’s possible to tell a person’s class simply by glancing at his or her body language.

Researchers at the University of California, Berkeley, studied videotapes of 50 conversations between pairs of strangers, and found that those with wealthy backgrounds fidget, yawn, doodle, and generally appear rude. But people who are less well-off make more of an effort to engage in conversation—nodding, laughing, looking directly at the other person, and raising their eyebrows when speaking.

It’s thought that those born into privilege feel less of a need to make a good impression when talking to others.

So seeing as you can say a lot without even opening your mouth, guarantee that you’ll stand out from the crowd and look (not act) like a million bucks—even on a tight budget...