Monday, July 27, 2009


Sorry peeps that I've been so neglectful of my blog for so long now. Working two jobs and trying to maintain a healthy lifestyle and maintain a relationship does not leave much time for a lot of other things. Truthfully, I have been slacking in some areas as of the last month or two just because I've been working crazy overtime and been a little more lenient in my habits. I have been a little too comfortable in parts of my life with the grind I was working and my health is starting to suffer.

Well, at this moment I am on vacation, part of the reason I worked so much overtime as of the last month, and got to clear my head and reconstruct some new goals for the second half of the year. I know people usually only make goals at the beginning of the year, but what good is that?. Goals should reflect your current situation, not what occurred six months ago. Don't get me wrong, long term goals are a very helpful and can be a beneficial aim, but that does not mean you can't tweak them once and a while.

I've been called hard headed, boxed in, and even asinine in that I try to keep my life within certain boundaries, but like the idea that is put forth in the article I will post, you and only you know what sort of things motivate you and what will hinder you in your goals that you set for yourself. Yes, I do enjoy my friends and relaxing with them, but at the same time, doing those things does not always allow me to accomplish the goals that I have for myself. Honestly, in part that is due to the fact most of the people I do associate with don't have the same goals or motivations as I do which is perfectly fine. I would rather have them in my life than not, so our time may be more limited, but it does still happen. But in that same sense they should realize that I do things because I enjoy them, they keep me sane, and I know what works best for me. They are not to blame if I fall off my own wagon, but they need to understand that just because I am not always there does not mean I don't love them. I am just a busy motherfucker.

This piece is from an article in Men's Health (did you have to ask) concerning Tyrese Gibson's similar predicament. I found it very insightful and grounding. Hopefully you can pull some helpful information from that as well. Oh and don't worry, I will try to make some postings about my trip to Asia when I get the time, because when I get back to the States, I will be putting a new workout, eating, and time schedule into place to rev up the next six months so don't be mad if I can't make it to the bar to grab a beer, or swing by Neko for some sushi (although I will be highly tempted), or catch that movie I really want to see with my homies. But if you feel the inkling for a new direction or you get an itch to do something new for once, you know where I'll be..

Master Your Domain
Tyrese Gibson, star of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, gained weight and lost motivation. To right himself, he first had to change everything around him

"How lucky is it that mirrors steam up after a hot shower?" Tyrese Gibson asks. "I didn't have to look at what I'd done to myself." And every morning for a year, he didn't look. He'd towel off and hustle out of the bathroom before the steam could dissipate -- and before he'd be forced to see his once-chiseled body, the product of so much work, softened and bulging with some 50 pounds of new weight.

It happened because he'd eaten too much, sure, but the process didn't start that way. It started because he'd declared victory. Four years ago, Gibson had worked his way up the R&B charts, starred in the films Four Brothers and Annapolis, and knew people wanted him. He'd eat a cheese burger, and then a week's worth, and people still wanted him. He took jobs for granted and started feeling entitled, and they still wanted him. So he stopped working hard. He figured it'd all just keep coming.

He lost a sense of consequence, he says. It's easy to do: Accomplish something and your attitude can go from I'm working hard for this to This is mine. Do that and you've already failed. A boss doesn't promote you because you did work hard. A woman doesn't love you because you were devoted to her. They want you in the present and future tense: They expect you from here on in to work hard, to be devoted. Start coasting and you'll roll backward.

Gibson didn't understand that. How can you see a problem if you block out criticism? When you won't look at yourself because you're afraid of what you'll see? The truth is he knew what he'd see. If something's wrong with your life, you know it. Gibson ignored his problem by partying and hanging with slackers. They liked him lazy. They weren't about to tell him to stop, to think, to look.

But one guy did. A friend connected Gibson with Will Smith -- a man Gibson saw as happier and more successful. In Gibson, Smith saw a man who had lost his way. So he told Gibson that to truly succeed, he'd have to change everything around him. It was all part of the problem. Everything.

"It's the mirror effect," Gibson says. "You shine a mirror on everybody else and critique their lives, but what about you? What are you doing?"

No more steam. Stand naked in front of a clear mirror and take a good look. Gibson did, and he saw a confused, 248-pound man. He had some hard choices to make. And now, 2 years later, he smiles at his 203- pound reflection.

"We men have to put our pride and egos aside and just say, 'You know what? I need help,' " Gibson says. "Bring something to the table. To somebody who has the keys to whatever door you're trying to go through, say, 'Look, man, I have five keys of my own, but I'm trying to figure out how to get these other keys.' "

Think of it this way: Every man is surrounded by better men. A man who's more financially secure than you are can teach you something, and chances are he can also learn something from you. So approach him. Collaborate. Successful men aren't symbols of your inferiority; they're examples worth engaging.

Now that Gibson is hitting the gym on a regular basis, he's always asking for help. He's made a lot of friends that way. "It's very simple," he says.

"You walk up to a guy and say, 'Yo, my man, how'd you get your arms so lean and ripped like that? Let me jump in with you on a set.' " And like that, you're learning.

Smith told Gibson this: The five people you spend most of your time with will dictate how far your life and career will go. Slobs will make you a slob. Gibson loved fried calamari, and he had friends who bought it for him all the time. But if your friends work hard and eat right, you'll be embarrassed to eat fried anything around them.

It isn't easy to switch friends. Gibson knows that. It took him months: less time with this person, more with that one. Fried calamari gave way to scoops of tuna on lettuce, now his regular lunch. Guys at the gym taught him new exercises. He runs 5 miles a day on a treadmill. He lifts regularly.

All that effort creates a feedback loop -- much like he had before, except now all the messages are positive. Good routines are self-reinforced. He's focused now. His friends fuel him. You can see it.

"When you look a certain way, that says how you feel about yourself," says Gibson. "When you're in shape, you don't have to walk up to somebody and say, 'Yo, I love myself.' You look like you care for yourself."

With his new circle of friends in place, there's only one guy from the old days that Gibson thinks about a lot. That man's name is Tyren. Gibson talks enough trash about Tyren to fill an issue of Us Weekly: He's lazy, he's fat, he'll ride your coattails. "Tyren is mad that he doesn't have me no more," Gibson says defiantly.

Here's the thing: Tyren is Gibson. Or rather, was. Gibson made such a break from his past, he named his old self. He's dead serious about it. This is a new beginning. Change your life, and the old you will feel so foreign it may as well be someone else.

Gibson calls Smith every so often, for a recharge of inspiration. It's the positive influence he needs. Find someone who embodies your goal, and that person will raise your standards and expectations. When Gibson tries to explain his new attitude, he slips right into quoting Smith: "No one can touch me with my work eth..."

Actually, Gibson decides, it's better coming from the man himself. So he sits down at his computer and brings up a YouTube clip of Smith on Tavis Smiley's show.

"I will not be outworked. Period," Smith is saying. "You might have more talent than me, you might be smarter than me, you might be sexier than me, you might be all of those things. You got it on me in nine categories. But if we get on the treadmill together, there's two things: You're getting off first, or I'm gonna die. It's really that simple."

"Man!" Gibson shouts. "This gets me fired up right here. I'm going to the gym."

And then he does.

1. You look like you feel
"If you're heavyset and content, you'll be looked at as big sexy. I thought that was for me, but it wasn't. If you're not happy about how you look, you have to question how much self-love you have. So I'd say to you in advance: I believe in you, but I don't believe you until I see the results."

2. You have control
"You are the master of your environment. You've got your own head, your own mind. So once you figure out what you want for yourself, you have to create the proper environment to make sure you can live out all the things you want."

3. Work at your own pace
"When you step on the treadmill, make a commitment. Do, say, 3 miles a day. And don't get off until you finish. It doesn't matter what speed you're going. Just don't get off. You don't have to keep up with all the people around, running all fast and doing their thing. Just do your thing. You'll work up to them, as long as you do your own thing first."


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